Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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