We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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