I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
