I understand Curling. That high.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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