C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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