I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
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