we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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