ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Man, jail baloney is awful.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
