Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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