Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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