pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
