He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
