i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize