i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You had me at "let me see your balls"
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