If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
