Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize
