what day is it and did you see me today?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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