I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
