I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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