Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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