seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
