Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
