Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
