Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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