Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Randomize
