if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
