a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
