Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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