As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
