this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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