Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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