For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
