I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Randomize
