As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
