WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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