They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
do herpes really smell.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize