It's like God shit irony all over that family
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize