We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Randomize