I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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