I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I have post one night stand depression
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
