it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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