Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
...so i touched it.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I have already put on my inside pants.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize