all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
