Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize