he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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