Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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