I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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