Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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