I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
