I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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