I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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