Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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