I just saw a hot homeless man
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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