dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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