Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
