Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
