How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
