We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just forgot I was standing up.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
