I think I died a long time ago.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
