Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize