i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize