Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
So much Jack, so little girl.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Randomize
