i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
