Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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