piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
another moral hangover. fuck.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
