I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
