She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
