if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
