I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
