just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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